1. Don’t date a man with “Sick Boy” tattooed on his knuckles:
While you may be impressed with his multiple Social D tattoos and extensive knowledge of horror movies, this is not that kind of man - child you will want to share a bed with. Yes it sounds nice and he is so hot but a person that gets that marked on his hands will spend most of your time together bragging about how cool he is and he will spend more time getting ready then you.
2. If he is bad a kissing, he is going to be bad at everything else.
I know that the inner nurturer in all of us wants to believe that this boy doesn’t actually drool all the time or that maybe one day he will stop doing that weird thing where he LITERALLY LICKS YOUR LIPS. He does drool all the time, and he will not stop trying very weird things.
3. Have many guy friends
No one can pick out a guy scoping you like another guy. They are always right, but beware that after you make a connection with whatever guy they tell you to talk to, they will make fun of all the information you give them.
4. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR CATS:
5. Your TV shows are only interesting to people in relationships:
I have never met a single man that wants to talk about SMASH or Grey Anatomy, but every guy with a girlfriend does!! There is still a piece of my heart that wants to believe my soul mate will be found sitting at a bar trying to engage the people around him in a conversation about what happened this week on Teen Mom.. but I won’t. If I do, he will be gay.
6. Don’t waste your time on a guy that wont buy you a 2 dollar beer:
Maybe this should have been a no brainer but sadly it was not.
7. Keep your high school crush in high school:
You may want to believe that you are now cool and calm enough to talk to this dream of a boy from sophomore year, even at 24, you are not.
8. Sometimes that crush from high school looses his hotness:
I was all about a boy that drove a red Camero. He was a senior and I was just a stupid freshman. he wore a black tank top every day. Tall dark and mysterious. I passed him every day while leaving 6th period, he smiled at me every day and one day gave me a ride home. I saw this perfect man a year ago. I was crushed. I imagined him to still be the hard bodied babe i knew in school and he is most defiantly not. I will leave it at that.
9. If you think a boy is gay then he is gay:
Even if he isn’t actually gay and he spends 200 dollars on your first date dinner. (this happened) You will always wonder if he’s gay. Let’s all be honest here, if you’ve ever had to sit with your friends and seriously debate someones sexuality then this is not a guy you need to date.
10. Everyone else is cooler then you:
After spending 3 years with someone and then the time is takes you to work out all the problems to become an active member of the “single world” you have spent a long time being ok with wearing sweat pants and eating pizza in bed. Everyone else is cooler then you. Everyone else has a group of friends they have been forming and inside jokes they have been perfecting for the past 3+ years. I have learned to take pride in being the girl that laughs at jokes I don’t understand and stands somewhat right outside the smoking circle. I look insane and I probably am a little but I have learned to love that insane girl in my time being actively single.